Christians have been so messed up by religion that they don’t even know whether they should date, let alone how to go about it!

Strict, legalistic teaching about the dangers of dating has paralyzed people and given people hang-ups about exploring romantic relationship before they even get out there!

Many desperate believers go to the world to date because the church scene is far too restrictive. Others try to conform, but often give up and settle for low expectations of what they can have in the area of relationships.

Christians should certainly date. If you never date, you never find out what you like, and you never learn what works for you and what doesn’t work. It’s time to get out of your church clothes, put on something that makes you look good and go dancing – not so that you can throw away your standards, but to shake off that deep, religious air and relax in who you are. God is not intimidated by your humanity and neither should you be.

The best way to date is with some wisdom about people and how they behave. You won’t have to learn everything by bitter experience if you get the right teaching in church first.

Wake up to the fact that some people who are friendly at first are drawn to you because you advance their interests in some way. Be discerning so as not to invest yourself wrongly.

The agenda of your real friends is your well-being, and your boyfriend or girlfriend must be, first and foremost, your friend.

Here are some tips to help the ladies understand the men:

  • If a man doesn’t call you and always has an excuse as to why he’s unavailable, the truth is he doesn’t dig you.
  • Sometimes a kind man may end up leading you along if you don’t give him space to let you know it’s not working for him.
  • If he never shows you to his friends and family, chances are that you are his spare rib or he just wants to fool around with you for a while.
  • If he always disappears for long unexplained periods of time from your life, chances are he has a dark secret that you shouldn’t stay around to discover.
  • The more insecure a man is, the louder he is and the more he has a tendency to throw his weight around.

Guys, it’s time to confront the fear of being diminished by being faithful to one woman and recognize that, since you don’t have the gift of celibacy, you have a responsibility to treat women right. Your manhood is not being enhanced by sleeping around, but your soul is being fragmented by your multiple sexual encounters. You have what it takes to find someone you can love and give your whole self to and to the purpose of God! Become tired of playing and take your life to another level as you dare to commit! Nothing of significance ever happens without commitment.

In making your choices, stay clear of this person, whether man or woman if they:

  • Consistently display vulgar behavior
  • Are arrogant or overconfident
  • Manipulate and use desperate tactics
  • Expect and ask for too much too soon
  • Turn everything into a debate
  • Are secretive and not just private
  • Have violent tendencies and a hot temper
  • Are careless with words and speak without being considerate
  • Are only concerned about their own advantage
  • Don’t have any authority figures that they are submitted to

When you mature, you begin to realize that there’s no such thing as a casual date. So investigate before you invest your affections and then have fun building genuine trust and open communication. This is the pathway to true, lifelong intimacy.

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3 Comments on Dating

  1. We love and appreciate your honesty Pastor Mumba!!! You’re the best!!!

  2. This is just sooo awesome Pastor, keep these posts coming they’re freeing and helping a lotttt of people!!! some months ago I went through a similar situation and I sooo thank GOD for natural instints and the Holy Spirit, if not for those things I would literally be in hell today wanting to get out and couldn’t. I can encourage women today pay attention to your “natural instints” and “red flags” even if you’re older and it seems like time’s running out don’t settle for less GOD has that right person for you. today I’m happy, content, free, liberated living life to the fullest till my “BOAZ” make his arrival.

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