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Your marriage and your money

DRM and PS Las Vegas

Getting married and setting up home means establishing a shared lifestyle in every area.

Don’t expect it to just happen; marriage is work. You may say that your marriage is made in Heaven – but so is thunder and lightning!

This lifestyle is totally unique since it demands a level of transparency and unity that is not required in any other relationship. This transparency and unity includes the area of finances.

We live in a generation that would rather give away their bodies than their money! Contractual marriages are hallmarked by separate financial arrangements for each spouse and the drawing up of pre-nuptial agreements before the day of the wedding. But this isn’t compatible with covenant. Covenant is all about openness, honesty and giving the other the advantage.

When you get married, what belongs to one of you belongs to both of you, so it’s going to be vital that you spend time talking about EVERYTHING that will be involved in your shared life.

Don’t be fooled that the love you have for each other will be enough to bring agreement in how you will manage your money. You have to find out where you spouse to be is coming from when you plan your financial future together; and even more importantly, you have to be clear about where YOU are coming from, since you may not even have examined your own financial priorities and preferences.

To help you understand these things, take the four broad categories below as a framework for your thinking and discussion. It will help you!

The Drivers

For these people money means success and the more money they have, the more competent they feel. They may have an overdependence on money for self-esteem and a sense of self-worth and will be tempted to make expensive purchases in order to feel important.

The Amiables

For these people money means love and affection. Relationships are the most important things to them. Lack of money means a loss of ability to express love. Amiables are usually unprepared for the long term and are generally broke because they don’t steward what they have. They easily exchange their money for immediate enjoyment, not realizing that their money is their life.

The Analytics

For these people money means security. The more money they have, the more secure they feel. They are very structured and well planned. They find it hard to respond spontaneously to the prompting of the Holy Spirit to give an unplanned offering and can appear cold hearted when they fail to sacrifice their sense of order to meet an unexpected human need.

The Expressives

For these people money means acceptance. It means the ability to purchase admiration and respect from others and to acquire status. These people are tempted to hide their insecurities behind their spending habits and tend to shop to cheer themselves up when depressed!

Getting on the same page as regards your combined earnings, deciding who will be responsible for paying bills and managing the bank accounts, deciding if the woman will stay home with the kids or go out to work and if either of you will pursue college courses and further training opportunities, are just some of the immediate issues that will present themselves in the early years of marriage.

Most importantly of all, make sure that you both agree to put God first financially – tithing and giving offerings to further the kingdom of God. Your decision to honor God from the outset will be the biggest investment you can ever make in your future!


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The dance of fear in relationships

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What is it that poisons what could otherwise be good relationships? Why do we behave in ways that we didn’t expect to?

We love God and believe we are tight with Him, and yet our relationships are shot! It seems that as we get closer to one another, we provoke the wrong things out of each other.

It’s easy to be nice to your casual friends, and overlook the offense of a stranger, but it is harder to forget the things that the person that you love did to do.

Relationships are shattered, intentionally or unintentionally, because people keep hurting each other.

You try to love like God, but you’re not God. God is pure love, but you are still under construction. God is not affected by what you say, but you are affected by what people say, especially if they mean something to you.

Your most intimate relationships are your sickness and your medicine – they are the source of your greatest pleasure and your toughest pain.

Society doesn’t deal in reality, however, so you have to come out smiling and hide your pain. You have legitimate needs, but you can’t show them. You learn to play the game.

You don’t know if the pastor likes you or doesn’t like you, so you feel insecure.

If your parents withdraw approval as a form of punishment, you never have the assurance that you are completely loved.

You need acceptance and you fear rejection, and any sign of rejection puts you in self-defense mode. These are involuntary reflex reactions. You want connection, so you fear disconnection.

You want to feel secure, but you have been abandoned so many times that you are clingy, and yet you know that men pursue women who are happy and willing to share that happiness, and that they are driven away by women who are depressed!

You are looking for the one person who will be everything for you, but you get disappointed. How come God couldn’t make just one person who was the whole package for you??

I call it the dance of fear in relationships. It’s about performing to please people. If you have to protect yourself from the person with whom you are in relationship, you are in a dance of fear. You are tempted to settle for relationships where you use and are being used by others, to avoid the risk of genuine intimacy.

There are two things you must do.

Tell the people with whom you are in close relationship, “You don’t have to perform for me; I love you as you are. Don’t give me your strengths, give me your weaknesses. Don’t try to hide your mistakes in order to impress me”

What does this do? It creates a place of safety for the people close to you. It is as if you draw a line around yourself and say, “Anyone close to me is automatically accepted for who they are.” The greatest gift you can give to anyone, is that of forgiveness.

As you do this first you activate the Kingdom of God in your situation. In the world you take first and then give towards others. But in the Kingdom of God you make happen for someone else first, what you also want, and your seed provokes the harvest you seek.

The second thing is this: tell your Heavenly Father, “You alone have my heart. No human being and no activity, no matter how exhilarating or purposeful, can fulfill me. My security is in your love for me, and in nothing else. Today I receive you as the God of my broken places. I will not run or hide; this is what I am and I give it all to you”

Many times you are broken in relationship because you let someone exert a disproportionate influence over you. You invested more than they could be responsible for. Your heart led you into something that isn’t feeding you back.

It’s time to take back the responsibility for your wholeness and place it in the hands of the only One who can truly handle you.

Your Heavenly Father knows how to hold you and to heal your brokenness. He will give you relationships where it will be possible for you to overcome your fear and find acceptance. He hasn’t given up on relationships or the family. There is no plan B from God. He is able to bring you through.

As you do this you draw a line around yourself. You put your relationship with God before any other and you preserve within yourself a reservoir of strength and love that no hurt can ever extinguish.

 

 

 


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A mystery revealed

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The events concerning Jesus Christ, which we remember at Easter, are the most pivotal events in the whole of human history.

The death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, the Son of God, ushered in the New Covenant which marked the start of a whole new relationship between God and man. Not only that, but the power of God was released upon the Earth in a way that had never been possible before.

Up until that moment, the power and anointing of God had only come upon a few individuals, who had been the key players in the purposes of God in the Earth: Moses, Abraham , David and Samuel, to name a few. Now a new phenomenon was seen, a mystery that the Bible says had been hidden throughout the ages, Christ in every believer, giving every Christian access to the power and glory of God. When you realize that, you start to be proud to call yourself a Christian.

1 Corinthians 2:8 tells us that had the devil known the plan of God, he would never have crucified the Lord of Glory. Instead of wiping out the anointing in killing Jesus, the anointing has now spread far beyond his control, as men and women all over the world receive Jesus as their Lord. As believers, every cell of our bodies is constantly bathed in that Heavenly power.

So crucial was the knowledge of God’s strategy to the success of the plan of redemption, that in the ministry of Jesus, He was constantly trying to keep who He was under wraps.

But the powerful demonstrations of the anointing on His life caused word to get out. Thousands flocked to Him; the Pharisees couldn’t leave Him alone; people of all ages and backgrounds with distressing bodily suffering came to Him to be healed. Everyone was looking out for the Anointed One. His presence would settle the issues of their lives.

After his resurrection, when power came upon the believers at Pentecost, there was a continuation of the same miraculous things. The first church of Jesus Christ was an oasis of supernatural help for mankind; it was held in high regard in the world.

In all honesty we’d have to concede that what we call church in our generation is a different entity in every way.

So what were they preaching that gave them such glorious results?

All throughout the book of Acts we find the answer: they preached Jesus – the Anointed One! In fact, they preached that message so consistently and effectively that even unchurched, unbelievers knew about it! When Peter was sent to Cornelius’ house in Acts 10, it was clear that Cornelius already new about Jesus, such that he was all ready to receive him when Peter arrived.

Nowadays, even people in the churches haven’t heard that message! Instead they have heard “five ways to beat stress” and “ten steps to getting out of debt”. They’ve been taught the seven habits of highly effective people and endless strategies for success in business. But none of them know that God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and that HE is the one who still settles the issues of your life.

How has this message been lost?

The Bible translators have played a part in this. They have failed to translate two key words into English: Messiah (Hebrew) and Christ (Greek). We’ve been trying to grasp who Jesus is through languages we don’t understand! Both of those words mean “The Anointed One”! Back in the times of the Old Covenant, everyone was eagerly seeking the Messiah – or the Anointed One – and in Jesus’ day, they understood that He was the Christ – the Anointed One again – but in church today, people think that Christ is simply Jesus’ last name!

Back then, people didn’t go to church because they liked singing in the choir, or because it was close to their home, or even because they liked the preacher – they went because they were hungry for an encounter with Jesus and His anointing

The mind-blowing truth is that Jesus is still anointed with that same burden- removing, yoke-busting power, and if we will give Him room and make Him center stage in our churches and in our midst, He does what He is anointed to do in our lives.

It’s time for pastors and church leaders to stop preaching themselves, and how they did what they did, and how God spoke to them and brought them out; it’s time to preach Jesus, because He will not share His glory with another.

Preach that Jesus is the one who carried your diseases and tell your body to line up. Your supernatural partner has to come in and do His part. You trust that Jesus Christ is anointed, because no one is a healer but Jesus.

No one can get you supernatural money, but Jesus knows where your fish is. No one can get your child home, but Jesus can turn their heart. No one can get you a man, but Jesus knows how to bring him from Australia. Nobody can fight your battles but Jesus can appear to your enemies in a dream and tell them if you touch him you are dead meat.

Don’t preach ways to take care of yourself! You encourage pride and self-reliance. But if we are ever going to see the lids taken off our lives and unlimited possibilities burst forth upon the scene, we will have to rely on the supernatural anointing that is on Jesus, and which is also now in us.

Take your eyes off the man of God, your own ability and shortcomings, your situation, the pain and the emotions, your limited capacity, your pressure. Take your eyes off anything earthly. If its’ provision you need, see him become poor so that you could be rich. If it’s healing you need, see the stripes on His back and healing flowing from His throne.

Take it and worship Him with it – just you and Jesus.

Together we are going to see the power and goodness of God restored to the church of Jesus Christ!

 


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Trust the anointing

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Luke 5:15

But so much the more the news spread abroad concerning Him, and great crowds kept coming together to hear [Him] and to be healed by Him of their infirmities.(Amp)

Why do you go to church?

Are you like many Christians who go out of habit, or to salve their conscience, or maybe to check out the talent among the congregation?

But church shouldn’t be purely natural; we are a supernatural people!

We’re calling an end to church that is predictable and academic; church should not just be a classroom, because God Himself is not someone we are supposed to simply learn about – He is alive and real!

We want it to be like when Paul preached in the book of Acts, and while He was still preaching, the Holy Spirit fell. We want to experience Him in power!

Some churches go as far as to say that the times for those things has passed away and that our job is to focus on preaching the gospel so that people can get born again.

If Jesus could not preach the gospel, or get the whole job done without demonstrating the Kingdom, then we are missing something if we settle for a Christianity that is based on rhetoric and fine sounding sermons.

Being born again is vital, but it is far from the fullness of what God has for us. In fact, it is just the beginning. If it was all about just getting born again, then God may as well let us die as soon as we make our decision for Him! But He doesn’t do that, because there is so much more that He has in store for us to experience of His goodness and power.

You can be one of two types of Christian: you can let your faith rest in the in the wisdom of men, and that will work to a large degree. The wisdom you receive will help you in many ways. But what will you do when you come up against something that you cannot shift in the natural realm?

Alternatively you can be someone whose faith rests in the power of God. You depend on and trust in the manifestation of the anointing to see the impossible accomplished in your life.

Have you ever seen the power of God to the point where it challenges your natural thinking? If not, then you haven’t really experienced the anointing in your life. Yet the Word tells us that when you got born again, you received an anointing that abides. You have access to another realm – the realm of the supernatural!

For us to see the fullness of what God has promised us this year, we will have to decide to trust the anointing. This was one of God’s instructions to us.

Ultimately, Christianity is just another religion – another moral code, until we see something. If you ask a Hindu and a Moslem and a Jehovah’s Witness, what they can offer you from their Holy books, there is no doubt that they too have some wisdom, some moral teachings and some fine sounding sermons. But when you say, like Elijah, “Whoever, is God, let Him answer by fire”, finally you can see who is truly Lord of Heaven and Earth.

When natural people run out of answers, they contemplate suicide; their education can’t help them any more, their money won’t touch it, their network of friends won’t bring the answer they need and now they are bankrupt of possibilities.

But for us it is different. We have access to the power and the anointing of God. we are only just getting started in seeing all that is possible for us.

In this year of Unlimited Possibilities, learn to trust the anointing. Decide to step out beyond where you have gone before. Come to church expecting to hear and to be healed. Come expecting God to move in your circumstances. Come to church because it’s the place of His power!


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When your husband or wife seems impossible!

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When we get married, we are looking forward to years of loving companionship, We are happy to announce ourselves fully booked and content. We are eager and ready to become one flesh in every way.

And so it should be that way.

However, the reality is that becoming one flesh is no joke, and sooner or later all of us hit a challenge because the “becoming” part is far from easy.

In fact, things often seem to be going in the opposite direction..

The opposite of “one flesh” is distance and disconnection. It can happen that, what once started out warm and intimate becomes cool and barely even polite.

This is the result of discovering things about your spouse over the course of time, which are difficult to deal with. Often the behavior of the other seems unfathomable, unpredictable and unloving. It can drive you to believe that the fault with your waning relationship rests entirely on the other, since his or her actions and reactions are so utterly impossible to handle.

But the fact is that this state of affairs is completely normal and to be expected, since you married an individual, who, simply by reason of being a member of the opposite sex, is wired entirely differently to you!

Consider these typical traits of male and female “wiring”:

  • A man has a strong drive and strong opinions. He finds it hard to admit that he is wrong. When a man presents ideas to his wife, he is looking for endorsement, not discussion!
  • Since Adam received his commission to work before he received Eve, to this day men have a confusing drive to pursue their work at the expense of their family sometimes.
  • A man has almost an obsession with respect. Whatever you are discussing, if your approach is wrong and he starts to feel disrespected, the new topic of conversation will be how you disrespected him, until you put that right.
  • A man has a strong drive to seek sexual fulfilment. If a man says he isn’t bothered about being married, he is finding an outlet for his sexual drive somewhere else!
  • A man is easily a creature of habit; he will want to sit in the same chair, eat the same food, tell the same jokes and repeat the same daily routines; in fact he has to work hard at not becoming boring!
  • A man is profoundly insecure and fears that one day he will be uncovered as not being everything that he is outwardly making out. Yet his fragile ego is also the power house of his ability to take you somewhere and to become great. As a woman you should build your man up, rather than attempt to bring him down a peg or two!
  • A woman is emotionally unpredictable and changeable. Her moods fluctuate from one day to the next and even from one moment to the next. To a man she can seem exhausting in the emotional demands she makes.
  • She desires conversation and connection. She loves to explore and express her feelings and observations.
  • A woman will want to talk about an issue until she feels that you have heard her. Until she feels that way, the subject is not closed!
  • A woman feels the tone of everything you say to her, far more than she hears the words themselves. Not only that but she never forgets what you said to her, especially if it was hurtful, and you never made it right.
  • A woman needs affection, which does not always turn into a sexual encounter. She wants to be held and stroked, simply so that she can feel that you cherish her.
  • A woman who loves you will see what you can become – she will see the king in you. When you feel she is nagging, she is actually trying to make you into that king.
  • A woman is wired to help you, to incubate what you give her and to present to you something far more creative and developed. If you tell her your plans and ideas, don’t expect them to remain the way you stated them. She isn’t meddling, she is bringing you her contribution with a view to helping you!

The hardest thing about all of this is that none of us find it comfortable or easy to accept and embrace the differences of another person. Our instinct is to try and make the other person conform to how we are.

Men want the women to respond to them as another man would and they wish that their woman would stop being so much work!

Women want the men to be more sensitive and communicative, because it’s tough for them living with someone who doesn’t want to give much emotionally.

Yet God has given to us, not what we feel we need, but what HE can see that we need. He knows that if we stay entrenched in our own way of being, we will be less than what we could be, even though we may feel it’s an easier deal.

As we make the uncomfortable stretch to understand our spouse, and to accommodate and fulfil their needs, even though we may feel that those needs are unreasonable or unnecessary, God does an amazing thing; He makes us into the person that we ought to be in His plan and purpose.

Don’t try and make your husband or wife into your image; allow them to be, in your life, the creation that God has set alongside you, made in His image.

Make a decision that every effort you put into yielding to the needs and demands of your spouse, to give them what they want within reason and within the boundaries of morality, is entirely worth it, since the rewards that you will reap both in your own success as an individual and as a couple, will far outweigh the cost.

Settle it forever that becoming one flesh is God’s purpose for you in marriage, and that your willingness to bend and change to make your wife or husband happy, is an honorable thing.

Finally, welcome the process! Jump right in and give it all you have. The benefits of a happy spouse will far exceed the price of your sacrifice. Not only that, but the promotion that God gives, as your character becomes mature and fully formed, will bring fulfilment that cannot be attained any other way.


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Stopping the cycle of broken relationships

DRM and PS India

Psalm 25:12

Who is the man who reverently fears and worships the Lord? Him shall He teach in the way that he should choose.

Most people spend a lot of time in life recovering from the after-effects of wrong choices.

When you experience soulish illnesses like anger, depression, loneliness and disconnectedness, you can easily become desperate, and desperation makes you act rashly. Before you know it you are picking up the pieces from another broken relationship, because you rushed headlong into something that wasn’t healthy for you.

But God’s priceless gift to us, as believers, is the ability to navigate relationship choices successfully, and choose wisely.

We are not trapped in the inevitable cycle of acting out of desperation. God will answer the cry of our hearts for relationships that are deeply satisfying, and bring out the best in us.

The first step you need to take is simple: look to God for His direction in who to choose.

You may think you know how to choose because you have your own preferences and ideas. You have already been taught by others – and besides which, you have seen a bit of life by now!

Something wonderful happens when you decide to yield all that to your Heavenly Father and ask Him to teach you. You will enter into a whole new level of wisdom and understanding. You are on the road to the fulfilment of your heart’s desires, because there’s no one who knows you like He does.

For a start you will begin to discern infatuation and stop confusing it with love.

Infatuation is when you’ve been together two weeks and you are already saying you love each other! Infatuation is when there is a great sense of intimacy based on the fun you have when you are together on a date. You like them but you don’t really know them outside of the context of fun.

Infatuation is when you don’t even ask questions about the true character of the other person; and you certainly don’t want any of your friends, let alone your parents, to give their perspective on the relationship. You just know that he or she is hot, and that is enough for you!

Infatuation is when you are caught up entirely in the way you feel, and the whole relationship revolves around that. For a relationship to be real, it has to be focused on the other person – who they are, what they want and where they are going in life.

Genuine love tries its best to enter into how the other is feeling, even though men and women are so different in the way they process things. Genuine love will learn what it is like to be the other sex, instead of trying to make the other the same as them. Genuine love is not about self, it is always willing to see life from the other perspective.

Genuine love fosters a sense of security and feelings of trust. That is why co-habiting is so confusing. It sends the message, “I love you so much that I want to be with you – but maybe not forever.” For genuine love to blossom there has to be a focus on each other, which is exclusive. You can develop affection with five people, but real love has only room for two.

You can tell when you are maturing in the area of relationships because the drama becomes less and less. You spend less time planning your next move to outwit the other, and more time yielding to the other. Militancy dissipates and warmth takes over.

It’s no longer about pointed silences, keeping a record of wrongs, and proving the other one to be at fault – it’s about the quality of the love you share. You may end up losing the argument, but you will win the person, and that is the highest prize.

Finally you will have the wisdom not to give too much too soon. Let the relationship evolve and give it space. Give yourself some alone time to figure out what you feel and to consider where this relationship is going.

It’s a delicate dance – “How much do I release and how much do I hold back?” You are constantly evaluating whether there is an equivalent exchange being made by the other side so that you don’t get burnt, or remain too aloof.

Don’t give up other trusted friends, just because you have a new man in your life. If you attempt to lose yourself in this new relationship, you will not be able to give it your best, and they will help you to see things more clearly as you grow.

Everything of significance will happen to you in the context of relationships, so decide right now, that you will receive from God’s hand, relationships that enhance your life, and propel you towards your destiny. Not only will He meet you at your point of faith, He will hold your heart in the process as you seek to follow His leading. There is no one like our God!


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The Kingdom of God is power

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1 Corinthians 4:20

For the Kingdom of God is not in word, but in power

There are so many Christians who have grown up in church and never seen anything supernatural take place.

In fact, in many churches it isn’t even about the Bible any more. If you take your cancer diagnosis to church, they will offer you some sympathy and a support group and watch you die.

When you get among Christians who don’t believe in the power of God, they honor you for how well you are coping with the treatment.

I don’t want you to congratulate me or sympathize with me. Don’t turn me loose until the power of God comes on me. We have authority and power and it is in the anointing. Being a carnal church, where everyone looks the part but there is no genuine passion for God, cannot be an option for us in this generation.

It’s time that Christians became spiritual instead of being so normal they are unable to operate in the realm of the spirit. Just talking about a supernatural God won’t do it; just celebrating that God is in the midst of His people, isn’t enough – even right there in His presence, believers will remain subject to the same things as unbelievers, until they engage with the anointing through action and bold faith.

Just like in Acts chapter 4, when the Christians were being intimidated to stop preaching the Word in the name of Jesus, they prayed for added boldness and power to see signs and wonders performed at their hands, so we must answer the voices of discouragement and unbelief in the world and even the church with the same response.

In fact I am after the demon that deceives Christians into believing that they can live the Christian life without the anointing.

The truth is that you are and I are full of power.

We are not sorry people having to deal with the demons of our fathers. We have power to resist sin. Grace is not a license to sin; it is the power to overcome sin.

You have to start the new trend in your family. Break away from the status quo and get hold of the power of God for your life and future. Don’t blame anyone for where you are because it will cause you to waste time working out whose fault it really is! Recognize, “Whatever the sickness or disease, however disturbing the fear and distressing the lack; however long the addiction has had its hold and however dark the depression seems to be, I have power over it!”

We are no longer content to fight for the right not to be supernatural. We have power to recreate lungs and ear drums and hearts. God is not subject to our intellect. Our God can move; He isn’t weak. Our God doesn’t condemn the wrong doer; His power isn’t blocked by a man’s sin. In fact He is powerful to demonstrate such goodness right in the middle of our human weaknesses and mistakes, that it will irresistibly draw the one who did wrong to love Him.

We don’t panic like the world panics when the doctor says its terminal. We don’t give up on life when storms come. We have the power to command natural circumstances and to take authority over everything that opposes the blessing of God on our lives.

According to Isaiah 10:27 the anointing will remove the burden from men’s shoulders and destroy the yoke from off their neck.

One thing is for certain, the common denominator with every human being is that somewhere, each one has a reason why they need the anointing power of God.

Everyone has something in life that causes them to walk more bowed over than they ought to, as if carrying a heavy burden. Everyone will find themselves, sooner or later, doing things that they said they never would do. You wanted to serve the Lord and have a great family, but something has you by the neck.

Even if right now you are only aware of your natural strength and you feel that you can make it by the force of your money, your education and your connections; pretty soon it will be revealed to you, that you have a profound need for the anointing.

In this year of Unlimited Possibilities, we will have to trust the anointing of God in order to see manifestation. It’s not going to come about in our own ability, but the power of God will get the job done.

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