So you want to be married?

The highest joy of living is to know and to be known by another. If that strikes a chord with you, then God’s answer for you is marriage.

Fear can make a person vow never to trust another person with their whole life, and it is true that life sometimes wounds to where we are reticent to invest again, but unless you have no interest in intimacy, you do not have the gift of singleness! You need to know that God is able to pour his healing balm on your emotions and replenish your strength so that it doesn’t have to be that way for you.

The key to your success in relationship is going to be your own level of maturity and your strength of character. After the excitement of the engagement and the glamor of the wedding, the marriage begins. Are you ready to steward the life of another?

The more preparation you can make ahead of time to become a mature single person, the better your marriage will be when the time comes.

The problem with the process of maturing, is that it is hard to recognize your own immaturity. Be bold and ask yourself some penetrating questions to assess where it is at with you:

Does everything always have to be about you and your issues, or can you lay down what is concerning you long enough to take care of the needs of someone else?

Are you insensitive to the needs of others, especially those you are close to, or do you always have a thought for their perspective and their journey?

Do you demand your own way in everything, or do you find pleasure in the happiness of another?

Can you be reasoned with, or are you intent on everyone else seeing it your way?

Do you recognize an authority higher than yourself to which you are willing to submit?

Do you get upset when you are held accountable for your actions, or can you take responsibility for the consequences of what you did without defending yourself and putting the blame back on the one you hurt?

These are tough questions, but if you don’t ask them of yourself, life will ask them of you as you try to form and maintain a rewarding and healthy marriage.

A successful marriage is built on a commitment to meet the needs of another rather than to get your own needs met. When we decide to marry, we make a decision to value another person self-sacrificially, with a realistic assessment of their strengths and weaknesses.

If we go in with the sole objective of getting our needs met, our marriages will flounder when we discover each other’s weaknesses, since it somehow doesn’t easily dawn on us that we marry another human being! But the quality and depth of our marriages will be determined by our ability to steward the weaknesses of our spouse and our willingness to admit and to work on our own weaknesses in response to their requests! We are all a work in progress!

In the world’s economy weakness means shame. In God’s economy, stewarding the weakness of another is a sacred trust and a unique privilege.

In marriage, both spouses should be able to be naked and unashamed. That means that both can reveal their fault without fear of rejection and judgment by the other. Be ready to become the healing that your spouse needs for their broken places, and the place of safety that they require to experience unconditional acceptance by another human being. There is tremendous redemptive power in this kind of love, and you literally become God’s vehicle for the restoration of another human soul.

Are you ready to embark on this kind of journey with another person? This is the commitment of marriage. Embrace it with your whole heart and it will be the most fulfilling adventure that you could ever experience.


Father, you know me; you know how you wired me, and you know that I need someone in my life. Thank you for calling me to be married and to enter into this sacred relationship with another human being that mirrors your redemptive commitment to your people. Even as you bring someone across my path, I also yield to you as I prepare to steward their life. Work on me, Lord, and make a blessing ready to happen to my life partner!

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16 Comments on So you want to be married?

  1. Reblogged this on Isaac Madengu and commented:
    Advice worth having

  2. this an awesome blog with essential information.

  3. very encouraging words indeed. especially on my part coz am not yet married.

  4. Evelyn Mushitala // February 17, 2014 at 11:48 am // Reply

    Am blessed Man of God

  5. Thank you sir, you have always been my inspiration since I was a child way before you even went abroad my aunt would talk about you when you where at Chamboli secondary school and how you loved the lord and that has always made me want to do more in life as a child of God thank you for this message and many more teachings.

  6. Brenda Ngwenya // February 17, 2014 at 12:20 pm // Reply

    I am ready fo a relationship esp after yo teaching but i pray that the partner comes from god coz im so tired of heartbreaks.

  7. Very wise, timely and inspiring words! With God everything is possible!

  8. Need relationship

  9. Laston Gonah // February 18, 2014 at 4:32 am // Reply

    This is very encouraging, more people should see this! I promise to share so that people will know the essential laws of married and love before it is too late. Amen !

  10. Atupele Mavutula // February 18, 2014 at 5:57 am // Reply

    This is encouraging

  11. Bukata raymonds // February 18, 2014 at 1:04 pm // Reply

    this has came at the right time indeed god timing is the best.

  12. // February 19, 2014 at 12:35 am // Reply

    Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone provided by Airtel Zambia.

  13. Kelebogile Sengadi // March 3, 2014 at 8:27 pm // Reply

    Man of God, thank you for words of encouragement. I need advice: I have a daughter who will be turning 3 soon. One day out of the blue her father called and say he needs a breakup but no particular reason given. When i met him i gave thanks that now i have found the man i will spend my life with. Similar things happens with my other two sisters. I beleive i am too blessed to fall in the curses of my family. How do i pray to break that spiritual curse and which verses to study. Will highly appreciate your advice.

  14. I am so blessed. I have shared this on my page on Facebook. God bless you pastor Mumba

  15. Hmmm relationship is something so wonderful i love.when husband and wife is together it also bring happy life and making them one..GOD give me a better one..

  16. Costa Gumisiriya // February 8, 2017 at 1:21 am // Reply

    God bless you always pastor.

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