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Are you really in love?

We are all wired to need intimacy, yet it takes a lot to be good at relationships. Time to reflect, to become discerning and clear thinking about the kinds of relationships we want to invest in is vital before we can really make choices that we will be happy with years later.

One of the most valuable things we can pray for ourselves, and indeed for our  children, is that we would have the ability to know how to choose relationships wisely. By God’s grace our lives can be about more than just rectifying past errors of judgment and  correcting mistakes we made yesterday by getting intimately involved with people who were no good for us.

Don’t make the mistake of resorting to distractions when you feel inadequate to relate successfully or find the relationships you desire, since you will miss the opportunities when they show up.  People become workaholics, or they go shopping or partying to fill the void. They surround themselves with noise and crowds to avoid the challenge of finding intimacy with a significant other, or simply to avoid spending time with a person to whom they are married now that the challenges have emerged.

So how can you tell when a person truly loves you and when you have genuine love for him or her?

Time will prove the authenticity of your feelings for someone, since infatuation fades over time, but love grows.

Don’t give too much too soon to anyone, to avoid having to extract yourself  painfully later.

A woman is particularly drawn to do this, but in so doing she trains her man to be lazy since there is no need of pursuit. If a man is truly interested in you, he will do whatever it takes to find you and to marry you.

Don’t think that you will lead him towards marriage by co-habiting. His agenda is totally different and he may leave you years down the line when he meets someone he really wants to marry.

True love is based on knowledge of the other person, not on how he or she looks and it fosters a sense of security and a feeling of trust. You should not consider marrying anyone to whom you would not tell your darkest secrets.

Finally love is about giving the other person the advantage, it isn’t about self interest. You are not truly in love if it is all about you.

This is just a brief glance at some things we have talked about in church together regarding relationships. There is so much more that people need to know to be happy in relationships. Let me know if you would like to find out more. I would love to have the privilege.

10 Comments on Are you really in love?

  1. Dr Mumba, Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to post on your blog. Each day you post something new my spirit is unlifted and from my heart, i just want to say thank you to you and to Pastor Star. I really would like to learn more about today’s topic if you don’t mind. Once again thank you so much. May God continue to bless you and keep you in perfect peace. My love to Pastor Dtar. (We miss you in Sheffield😊)

    Valerie
    X

  2. Dr Mumba, Thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to post on your blog. Each day you post something new my spirit is unlifted and from my heart, i just want to say thank you to you and to Pastor Star. I really would like to learn more about today’s topic if you don’t mind. Once again thank you so much. May God continue to bless you and keep you in perfect peace. My love to Pastor Dtar. (We miss you in Sheffield😊)

    Valerie
    X

  3. Your wisdom and insight are invaluable. It would be great if you could give more post regarding this area.

  4. More Pastor we need it.

  5. Great insight pastor, i would like more information cause am currently seeking God for a Husband and i feel like he is taking tiimmmee!!!! so yeah would love to receive more information

  6. Thank you Pastor M and Star . . .

  7. Kelebogile Sengadi // December 9, 2012 at 12:38 pm // Reply

    Interesting piece of advice. How do i deal with a partner that is bitter when i progress in life?

  8. L. Jewel Dupas // December 11, 2012 at 11:19 am // Reply

    This is good stuff. We never stop learning and obtaining wisdom. Thank you for pouring into our lives!

  9. This is great stuff.
    I have been a victim or perpetrator or both of this and I am happy that at least I now have a way forward.

3 Trackbacks / Pingbacks

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