One problem with many marriages is that couples date in order to marry, whereas they should marry in order to date. The ability to play together keeps things fresh, light and fun, and if you lose that element from your relationship, it is much harder to keep on enjoying one another.
Even in the midst of the day to day pressures of life’s practical and financial demands, there has to be a time when you focus on giving your best to one another, and when she is still just your girl, and he is still just the man you fell in love with. Real healthy relationships require excellence from both parties and they provoke both parties to give their best to the other from a willing heart. That way you will be able to still enjoy one another as the years go on.
The decision to give your best to your spouse as you relax together empowers you in another area too – it enables you to resolve tensions more easily, because you are ready to come to an understanding of the other. If you never make room for one another, you can never hope to keep up with one another’s needs and desires in the changing seasons of life. If you want a relationship on your terms alone with no practical actions to accommodate another, then your rhetorical claims of wanting to make things work are an act of deception. If you really want someone and they are worth it, then everything, apart from the Word, should be up for negotiation and change, including your desire to win the argument and being right.
There is no such thing as a marriage that has never been in trouble. A real marriage will have friction at some point – unless one of you has checked out! The key is to let your husband or wife teach you what you are doing that is insensitive to his or her needs, so that you can restore true intimacy.
Make a decision that the rewards of your marriage partnership will far outweigh the changes you have to make to accommodate him or her, and pursue the fun of being together every time you can.
I am so blessed in my marriage to Star! When I am with her time flies and every night is date night. Any changes I have to make to accommodate her are all secondary to the blessing she is to me.