Make sure you are number one

1Peter 3:7

Husbands, likewise, dwell with (your wives) with understanding

One of the greatest revelations you can ever have is that men and women are completely different. We don’t live life the same way, we don’t process the same way, and we don’t appreciate the same things, and yet the Word of God lets us know that to dwell together harmoniously, there will have to be a high level of understanding of the other.

Our temptation is to try and make the other gender like us, and to complain if they are not! But that way we lose out on the value contained in our differences. Don’t succumb to the temptation to treat your spouse like a buddy. It may seem like you get on so well, but the truth is that one of you is sacrificing his or her development as a man or woman to accommodate you.

As you grow together, learn to foster one another’s uniqueness and respect one another’s needs. Gentlemen, your manhood will be proven when you empower her to become the classiest, savviest, most beautiful woman she can ever become. Ladies, you show yourself to be a woman of honor when your man’s confidence in himself soars and he becomes a king.

Consider these basic differences as you study your spouse to discover how you can best empower each other to fulfill your potential:

A man is usually a logical thinker, who wants to reason while the woman is an emotional feeler.  A man leads with his mind; his words are an expression of what he is thinking. Yet a woman leads with her heart and her words express how she feels.

When a man hears words, he receives information; when a woman hears words, she feels the tone of them more than she receives the content of what was said. Her man could be shouting at the dog, but she will feel the sting of the rebuke, because the tone will penetrate her, even though it wasn’t intended for her.

A man needs to be admired and respected. If he is belittled and criticized at home, he will gradually become more and more monosyllabic. You may feel like you have won the argument because he doesn’t fight you anymore over it, but in reality, you have lost him. He cannot thrive where he is not appreciated and honored.  Anyone who admires your husband more than you do, has the potential to take him away from you.

A woman needs to be cherished and listened to. If she cannot connect with you emotionally, she will shut down and become cold and distant. Anyone who makes time to listen to your wife more than you do, has the potential to take her away from you.

A woman will want to talk about the situation until she feels she has been heard. Not only that but she never forgets what you said to her, especially if it was hurtful and you never made it right.

The more sensitive you become to the differences within your mate, the more you will free them up from the pressure to pretend in your presence. It is always the case that, as humans, we gravitate towards the person who understands and appreciates us the most – in the case of your spouse, make sure that is YOU!


Heavenly Father, thank you that you have appointed me as the number one person in my spouse’s life. You have called me to take on the responsibility to understand and appreciate my spouse to a higher degree than anyone else!

Today I am believing you for the wisdom, the grace and the insight to see what others don’t see, to prize him/her highly despite the frustrations of the journey, and to empower him/her to grow to their fullest potential. Thank you, Lord for that sacred trust. In Jesus’ name!

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2 Comments on Make sure you are number one

  1. Amen Pastor

  2. Amen. This is mind blowing and very very enlightening! Thankyou Pastor and God bless you

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