And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.
Have you ever made an inner vow? Many people have done this without really even knowing it.
An inner vow is a decision to protect yourself from being hurt in some way by not allowing people or relationships to affect you as you let them do in the past.
Maybe you have been abused or rejected and it took you years to get over it. Inwardly you said, “I will never let another man get close to me again.” or something similar. It’s a form of weariness; you become unwilling to go again because the last time hurt too much.
The problem here is that the wall you erect to keep the bad guys out, also keeps the good guys out. Not only that but you freeze your development at that point. Your life will never progress beyond that place of trauma and disappointment until your wall comes down. Offense is simply too expensive to play around with. Meanness is not in your renewed nature. Walls of hostility may work in keeping out hurt associated with failed attempts to love and be loved; but they also keep out future possibilities of ever finding relationships that are a blessing.
Maybe you have vowed never to trust another pastor, because you think that all pastors want is your money. Maybe you were robbed in church because some pastor demanded offerings without really feeding you the Word. That is spiritually illegal, and you felt taken for a ride.
The fact is that although some pastors exploit their members, there are also good pastors who feed their people faithfully. Although there are some men who treat women disrespectfully, there are also good men who love and cherish their wives. Although some women play with a man’s heart, there are plenty who are loyal and trustworthy. Although some people walk out on their friends when they make mistakes, others are sensitive and considerate and become instruments of the restoration.
Find out where you are most defensive and defiant; what is it that you are just intolerant of and edgy about? These are the areas where you are operating in self-protection. Your intolerance of minor issues and your extreme reaction to something small, shows you that you are stopping people touch you where you are sensitive. Skeptical and sarcastic people are actually scared. Militant people are fighting off a perceived threat and are feeling insecure. There may be a real issue, but the strength of your anger reveals that this isn’t just about what is happening right now; you are still reacting to a deeper hurt from the past. That is why you built that wall.
There is no doubt about it, betrayal, abuse and rejection bring intense pain. But in spite of these experiences we can love again and find the blessing God promised for us if we will dare to step out one more time, knowing that, despite our pains, He will never leave us stranded in life.
We are not on our own, trying to force something here. He placed His own nature on the inside of us the day we got born again, so that we would be empowered to be generous and extravagant with our love, just as He is. The same love that is shed abroad in our hearts, is also powerful enough to heal us from any wound that any relationship might bring.
My prayer for you is that you will find the grace to release the vow you have made to yourself before it defines your future and cuts you off from God’s best for your life, and that you will find your place of fulfillment in relationships where the longings of your heart will be met as you trust in Him.
Heavenly Father, I choose to yield to you in the area of relationships. I recognize that I must go again in this area in order to trigger my due season relationally.
Right now I declare that I will not be contained by hurt or negative experiences and I will not settle for less than my due season, so I shake off fear and choose to love with the supernatural love that is in my heart by the Holy Spirit.
Father give me the grace to move forward and to trust again as I trust you with my heart. Thank you, Lord!