How to get the relationship you want

Most people don’t know what to do to get the outcomes they want in life.

Are you feeling confused or out of control? As a believer, you can come to a place of understanding about why you are getting the results you are getting, and then make the adjustments you need to make.

The greatest principle you can ever be aware of as you examine your life is that of seedtime and harvest. Your life is a seed. Wherever you plant yourself, that is where you will start to reap a harvest

Planting is all about committing, and committing is all about passion. We can tell what you are passionate about by how committed you are to it. If you are still sitting on the sidelines, keeping your options open, you are not passionate about that thing.

What are you passionate about in your life? People who live life laid back and non-committal will never know the joy of victory nor the pain of defeat. These people will stay average, not because of their lack of talent, education or ability, but because they never throw themselves wholeheartedly into anything.

Ladies, if you are dating a man who doesn’t have anything to show for his commitment to anything up until now, and if he just wants to move into your house, sleep on your couch and ask for pocket money while he tells you he has things “in the pipeline”, you need to stop dating that man! He’s not ready for a relationship yet. A man who is serious will get a job and work on being a shelter for the woman in his life.

There’s nothing more unfulfilling than a relationship where one or both of the parties lack passion to make it work. People get married by saying the vows, but inside they don’t get married. They are afraid that if they decide to commit to one woman, they will be missing out on what others they might have enjoyed.

People no sooner get married, than they experience buyer remorse because the reason for their marriage was an urgent urge to merge. They have a spouse but now they don’t want one.

There is a misconception that if you get rid of the relationship that is causing you challenges, you can find a new and better one somewhere else.

The trouble with that thinking is that you yourself are the seed. Wherever you plant yourself, you will get the same harvest. The answer isn’t to get a new relationship, but to change what seed you are putting into the soil of your relationships. If you sow disconnectedness by being a statue in your own house, you will reap distance and coldness.

As you work at your relationship there will be times when you won’t even like the sight of each other, but your passion to make it work will cause you to get hold of your flesh and tell your soul that you are doing this for as long as it takes to get a breakthrough. As you sow yourself sacrificially, the wounds that you may suffer will start to heal more quickly than you could imagine. Within days of an upset you will be back ready to love again. We don’t hold back from intimacy because we are afraid of getting hurt; we trust God, because He is in our midst.

Don’t listen to fake counsel that will tell you that it will be easy if you follow the formula. They are putting unrealistic pressure on you to achieve a level of harmony that can only be reached over time. Anyone who has been married for ten years and says they have had no challenges is not telling the full story!

And if they tell you gentlemen, that a good woman is not complicated, they have failed to understand that a woman who is truly invested will be complicated! She will tell you what you need to do to get better, because she is interested in your future. If you have a woman who isn’t complicated, she either has an agenda, or else she is not that invested after all.

If you are unmarried, and you don’t have the gift of celibacy, find someone and give your whole self to them. At some point someone ought to be good enough for you. Not all men are dogs; maybe you are trying to find someone who will give you more than you are willing to put in.

If you want someone kind, are you kind? If you want someone good looking, do you take care of yourself? If you want someone anointed, do you commit to the Word and the anointing or are you only at church once a month?

You’re not getting younger. Being a player maybe seems good for now, but one of the most painful things about living is having the opportunity to be with the one you wanted, but you didn’t have the presence of mind to choose. Now you look back and wish you could go back.

Don’t let your life become an apology, or for years to go by that you later regret. Be passionate NOW. Make your choice and COMMIT – not just in relationships but in everything that God gives to you to do. You will not yield to discouragement, but you will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

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6 Comments on How to get the relationship you want

  1. Kimberly Bloom // April 30, 2014 at 6:49 am // Reply

    Thank you Lord for revealing the truth…
    Thanks Pastor for being a Committed vessel , and thanks self for obeying wisdom !

    I am good ground , I produce 100 fold return

  2. miriam mwango // April 30, 2014 at 3:49 pm // Reply

    thank you for the encouraging words may God bless you

  3. Gelly mubanga // April 30, 2014 at 8:47 pm // Reply

    Thank you for preaching the words of GOD to the people of all status.Nobody will come to say that ididn’t get preached

    I’m in Tanzania east africa but ican get you via social networks.

    Stay blessed

  4. Anonymous // May 13, 2014 at 7:38 am // Reply

    Amen pastor

  5. Costa Gumisiriya // February 8, 2017 at 1:57 am // Reply


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