When God says that two people in a marriage can become one, He means what He says; but in order to get there you will have to invest time in building your relationship. And what is more you won’t get to be one without a fight!
We are not those who act like they have never had a problem in their marriage and come out teaching marriage seminars as though its all easy and they have never been in trouble! Estrella and I had to make a decision, because I know I am strong and she is strong and we can destroy each other; so we had to decide once and for all, “I will never turn my strength against you”
We didn’t get like that straight away. When you mix different backgrounds and cultures as we have done, and we are saying things with a different tone, and a different nuance, we can end up offending each other without trying!
We had some battle royals! But over time we have gotten to the point where even if I am wrong, she knows, “He is a good man, and I will find the right time to tell him” She is not trying to hurt me. “He made a mistake, He is human, but his heart is right.”
We say to each other. “I am all for you; all of me! God gave you to me. I volunteer my whole self. You never have to wonder if there is anything in me that is against you.”
The differences will be there, but they are not as strong as your union. Differences are good since being one flesh doesn’t mean losing your uniqueness. God didn’t call us to become one and the same person; if two people are exactly the same, one becomes irrelevant.
The truth is that I need a strong woman who will speak her mind, otherwise I am not much of a man! She needs a man who is strong and is going somewhere. Even when she doesn’t understand she can have confidence, because she knows that there is a purpose that is driving me. She knows, “This man is going somewhere and he is for me. He will take me with him, because he is going somewhere. And along the way God will clear this up for both of us.”
It is my command to you today to go home and have peace in your household.
Gentlemen cover your women. Don’t send Sarah to Pharaoh’s house! You don’t know how much power your actions have over your woman. Look at Boaz; he let her come under his skirts and covered her. There is not a single woman who wouldn’t be physically and emotionally made whole if her man covered her correctly. She is designed to heal.
The only reason Jesus will have a glorious church will be because He washes her with the water of the Word, and presents her to himself a glorious bride. That is how she gets to be glorious.
Wash your wife by the water of the Word, and then present her to yourself. Don’t try and lick her into shape with your criticisms! She might not be everything you wanted, but neither are you everything she wanted.
Some people worry that maybe it is not working because they married the wrong person.
Let me show you this simple principle. Jesus said, “Many are called but few are chosen.” The chosen ones are the one who responded. they are the ones who showed up!
As soon as you say,”I do”, the one you picked becomes right for you because it is a supernatural transaction. Since they become the right person by means of that transaction, your job then is to trust God with them, and He will do something you never thought possible. Maybe you are at the place where it seems you could never be happy, if you will do that, you will find all the happiness you need and more than you ever expected.
In trusting God you will have to see past what you thought you knew about them. My ignorance almost cost me the best blessing in my life, because I was imposing my standard on her. I had to learn to demote myself. I chose to accept the one that God gave me , made in His image, instead of always trying to make her into in the image I think she should be.
She is not under pressure to perform. I give her permission to be normal. She doesn’t have to be “the Pastor’s wife.” I used to say to her, “What do you think they will think – you are the pastor’s wife!” But now I don’t care what anyone else thinks, as long as I am happy. She is my girl! As long as she is amazing to me, she is more than enough.But in fact, if she is amazing to me, I can guarantee that she will be amazing to you too!