What to look for in a friend


It is not neutral who you are friends with in life; who you choose to be close to says a great deal about you, and even more than that, your intimate relationships shape your character, define you and your legacy and ultimately determine what is possible for you.

Ephesians 4:16 tells us that the whole body of Christ is joined and knitted together by what every joint supplies. Every person in your life is supplying something to you, and what they are supplying is crucial to your final outcomes in life.

Nabal, whose name means “fool”, denied David supplies and David was about to go and kill his household in response. But on his way, Nabal’s  wife, Abigail met him and spoke wisdom to him, reminding him of who he was and who he was destined to become.  David started to realize that he didn’t need to get into that kind of foolish behaviour, and he chose to overlook the offense.

When Nabal spoke foolishness to David, he provoked a similar response, but when Abigail spoke wisdom, it provoked David’s wisdom. She spoke to the king in him and provoked a kingly response. No wonder he called for her to become his wife after Nabal died – she knew how to bring out the best in him.

Understand that  your friends are not just there to be friendly, they are provoking something in your life.

Some people are excellent; others bring the wrong supplies. They transmit fear into your heart and kill your dream; they are supplying fear and compromise when you are trying to go all out for God. You need to find someone who will say, “Do all that is in your heart. I believe in you and what God has put in your heart. I am with you”

If you knew how valuable you were, you wouldn’t ever spend another second of your life in the presence of people who tolerate you, or who mock your faith and discourage your purpose.  Please understand that you are worth celebrating. Remember, too, that God always uses the rejection of others to position you and usher you into the fullness of your intended purpose. Don’t let the fear or pain of aloneness keep you in the cycle of mediocrity. You are all that and then some!!

Don’t confuse rejection with a friend who gives you honest feedback, and whose heart is to make you better. Real friends will tell you when you are doing something that is taking you out of your lane, but with a real friend you will be able to open your heart without fear of it being crushed.

Pay attention to who your friends are, and even more importantly choose your pastor wisely. Why? Because the same spirit that is on the man and woman of God will come on the people submitted to them. If the pastor is mean, the people will be closed and unfriendly; if the pastor has a heart of compassion, the people will be merciful and generous with their love.

Choosing the right relationships can bring about a miracle in your life. Sometimes you just can’t get out of the trouble you are in by yourself, and like Mephibosheth, you need someone to come and get you. God will always use a kinsman redeemer to help you: someone who is close enough that you can relate to them, but someone who is empowered to help and show you favor.

The 400 men who went into the cave of Adullam had reached a point of failure in life. They had run up debt and were unable to pay; they were worn down and dissatisfied and even despairing with life. David himself was a fugitive, but the anointing on his life enabled him to bring those men out of their  pit, and cause them to break out into greatness.

My prayer for you today is that you will have the courage to break emotional ties with people who are shutting down your future and connect yourself with people who will cause you to fly!

Estrella and I add our faith with yours today for God to give you relationships that nourish, cherish, empower, enrich and bring the best out of you. May your happiness, joy and bliss know no bounds. It’s your time now!


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1 Comment on What to look for in a friend

  1. I take that Pastor. GC

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