Have you ever made an inner vow?
Many people have done this without really even knowing it.
An inner vow is a decision to protect yourself from being hurt in some way by not allowing people or relationships to affect you as you let them do in the past.
Maybe you said, “I will never let another man get close to me again.” or something similar.
The problem here is that the wall you erect to keep the bad guys out, also keeps the good guys out. Not only that but you freeze your development at that point. Your life will never progress beyond that place of trauma and disappointment until your wall comes down.
Maybe you have vowed never to trust another pastor, because you think that all pastors want is your money. Yet you don’t say that about the fast food outlets or the supermarkets. The issue is that when you make your financial exchange in any of these places you are happy because you are satisfied that what you walk out of the door with has an equivalent value to the money you left behind. Maybe you were robbed in church because some pastor demanded offerings without really feeding you the Word. That is spiritually illegal, and you felt taken for a ride.
The fact is that although some pastors exploit their members, there are also good pastors who feed their people faithfully. Although there are some men who treat women disrespectfully, there are also good men who love and cherish their wives. Although some people walk out on their friends, others are loyal and considerate.
Find out where you are most defensive and defiant; what is it that you are just intolerant of and edgy about? These are the areas where you are operating in self protection. Skeptical people are actually scared. Militant people are fighting off a perceived threat and are feeling insecure.
There is no doubt about it, betrayal, abuse and rejection bring intense pain. But in spite of these experiences we can love again and find something good if we will dare to step out one more time, knowing that God will never leave us stranded in life.
My prayer for you is that you will find your place of fulfillment and that the longings of your heart will be met as you trust in Him.