Marriage is a God ordained thing. It is not outdated and nor is it deficient as a way of building society and living life. There is nothing wrong with marriage – only with people. Marriage is excellent.
Yet it is not designed as an answer for weaknesses. If two people marry out of a sense of emptiness and need, the only result will be a greater degree of shared emptiness and need.
If one person is weak and the other strong, the strong person will end up resenting the weaker one who will inevitably suck the life out of him or her.
Opposites attract only when two people see in each other what they perceive that they don’t have. This is a recipe for mutual abuse; or else when one person grows strong and whole, they will no longer have a need for the other.
Mature relationship and truly fulfilling marriage is built when two people with similar strengths, depth and vision for their lives commit wholeheartedly to each other. This is an amazing thing.
Young people: don’t commit too early. You haven’t discovered who you are yet at 17 or 18, or how far you really want to go in life. You may make the mistake of committing to some one for whom you have heartfelt affection right now, but whose desires for their life and sense of purpose differ greatly from your own. It takes time for these things to become clear. You are setting yourself up for years of frustration.
Focus on developing yourself and your relationship with God. Find out what God wants to do with your life before you seek a companion to walk the journey with you.
When considering marriage, ask yourself this question, “How much am I willing to adapt how I am to be with this person, and will I resent it in the long term if I have to give up certain things?”
When You say “I do” you lose the right to be just how you were before. You can’t invite someone new into your life and expect to stay the same. Even if you get a dog you will have to make changes. Don’t demand that your new spouse must just accept you the way you are.
You are now on a journey to becoming one flesh.
Women give up independence to be married and men give up irresponsibility. The reward is the privilege of building something greater than oneself.