It is a fundamental need of human beings to be connected to others. If you deny the need to connect and seek to meet that need in other ways, you will end up in some strange and unhealthy habits and behaviors such as addictions or sex for its own sake.
Social isolation is a significant indicator of early death – even as much as well recognized physical factors such as high cholesterol or poor diet. Disconnectedness literally kills us.
In Genesis 29, Leah was willing to go to great lengths to get Jacob to attach to her, to notice her and to love her. Women who are married but whose husbands don’t notice them, feel they have a worse deal than their single friends who at least have a chance of finding a significant someone who will really “see” them, since women have such a strong need to be attached to a man.
Men on the other hand, before they reach a certain stage of maturity, run from commitment of that kind. The last thing they want is to be attached to anything!
What will change that unhappy conflict between men and women?
For the women, if they come to a relationship presenting their need first and foremost, they will drive a man away. A man is simply not attracted to a woman who is putting out the vibe of needing him all the time!
Men, on the other hand, have to come to place where they discard the independent attitudes of boyhood, and recognize that it is a privilege that a woman would seek him out to become the one who would steward her life.
A great key to genuine relationship with another person, is to get to the point where you don’t feel a desperate need for that person to escape your own self, and instead you feel happy in your own company; you like yourself; you are good company for you.
When people come into your presence they will sense that you are comfortable in your own skin and will like the fact that you are fun to be around. If you are awkward with yourself. others will be awkward around you. It will be harder to connect.
Make a simple decision and stick to it, “I like myself. I like being who God created me to be.”
Your decision is your open door into a whole new reality.