Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others
The way of the world is all about self preservation to the exclusion of others’ needs.
In the Kingdom of God you have to begin from the mindset of “I am there in another person’s life to be a blessing.”
However, no relationship works if there are only two people in it. We have to live for God first and the people around us get the overflow of our relationship with God.
If we enter into a relationship without drawing on God, we make the other person our source for all our felt needs. This is too much for anyone to handle!
However beautiful the relationship you have with your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse, there is no security in human beings. You have to trust God with the management of your life.
So many relationships fail because one or other party will not allow the other to simply be human, with issues of their own, but want to idolize him or her. In fact, one of the greatest things we can ever do for another person is to allow them that liberty; and to start looking out for their wellbeing and wholeness instead of just our own.
That doesn’t mean that we make it our job to change another person, or that we see ourselves as his or her savior. There is only one savior, and no person can ever really change another. In fact, whatever flaws you see in the other when you are dating will be magnified once you are married.
If you have a boy or girl friend and your friends and family don’t like him or her, ask why. God will lead by the counsel of highly trusted friends.
If he is still living with his mother at 35, what does that say about his willingness to take responsibility?
A man needs to be going somewhere before he needs suitable help in his life. Explore honestly together, “What is his mission and is she compatible to helping him bring it about?” If he is not going anywhere, or she is not a suitable help, it won’t work. Don’t let the pressure of your biological clock cause you to squash feelings of misgiving.
Go into your marriage with your eyes open. Investigate before you invest. Don’t assume!