Man was made for relationships. Every person needs to be connected to another. The greatest pain for a human being is not being connected with anybody. We can have external, superficial connections, but they won’t give our world the color that we long for.
In order for relationships to work we have to be able to communicate. If we can’t communicate, we can’t connect. The channels need to be open.
To communicate means to talk intensely and intimately. When we communicate we transmit thoughts, feelings and sentiments. There is an exchange of information. True communication is a two way activity. You cannot claim to have communicated if the message you were transmitting has not been received accurately or maybe even at all – even though you may have been talking at some length.
Popular culture tells us that opposites attract, and there is the notion that the best relationships are created by the joining of two very different people. Yet this only reduces the scope for communication and once the novelty of the differences fades, the weakness of such a relationship begin to show. If we are on two different wavelengths we never properly communicate even though we do the talking.
The difficulty is that every mind is a world of its own. We need the same frame of reference if we are going to communicate successfully. Bombarding someone verbally in order to force them into your way of thinking will cause them to close their heart to you. If you want to save yourself a lot of trouble, have plenty of commonalities with the person with whom you are trying to connect.
Do you think you are on the same wavelength as the people in your life? Connecting is vital to meet the profound needs of our humanity. Do yourself a favor by not lying to yourself about whether or not you really connect with this person, particularly if it is a significant relationship in your life.
The need for relationship is so strong that people choose a boyfriend or girlfriend with whom they hardly even get along! You should be able to enjoy each other’s company. If you have to force it, it isn’t right. Don’t think that over time you will be able to change them; you are not the Messiah!
No, this is how you know you really connect with someone: do you want to be in their presence all the time?
And as an acid test, ask yourself this: If I did the worst thing in the world, would the first person I tell be the one who I call the most significant in my life? Don’t get engaged to someone if the answer is no.
Don’t choose relationships that are not the real thing, just because you feel the pressure of loneliness. God knows how to meet the desires of your heart if you will be prepared to wait for Him.