For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh
The majority of single people would like to find someone to share their life with; a special someone who will be exclusively theirs.
If this is the case, and this is what you are asking God to do in your life, you might as well be prepared for the realities of marriage; since it is a principle in life that whatever goal you move towards will start to move towards you.
First of all assess yourself and your own behavior and attitudes to see how ready you are to steward the life of another person in marriage. The fact is that after the glamour of the wedding, daily life and the process of two individuals becoming one, will be the greatest character development program you have ever undertaken. The more preparation you can make ahead of time to become a mature single person, the better your marriage will be when the time comes.
The problem with the process of maturing, is that it is hard to recognize your own immaturity. Be bold and ask yourself some penetrating questions to assess where it is at with you:
Does everything always have to be about you and your issues?
Are you insensitive to the needs of others? Especially those you are close to?
Do you demand your own way in everything?
Can you be reasoned with? Do you recognize an authority higher than yourself to which you are willing to submit?
Do you get upset when you are held accountable for your actions? Can you take responsibility for the consequences of what you did without sloping off and blaming someone else?
When you marry, life is no longer going to be about just you but about both of you together. You can no longer be the center of attention all the time. Together you start to build a common life, built on a common vision and purpose. Life is a burden without a purpose and marriage is too, so find someone who loves the purpose of God as much as you do and outwork your purpose together. You will become greater together than either of you could be alone.
A successful marriage is built on a commitment to meet the needs of another rather than to get your own needs met. When you decide to marry, you make a decision to value another person self-sacrificially, with a realistic assessment of their strengths and weaknesses.
So many marriages flounder when one spouse discovers the weakness of the other, since it some how hadn’t dawned on them up to that point that they had actually married a human being! This is where the honeymoon ends and the true marriage begins. How do you handle these challenges?
In marriage, both spouses should be able to be naked and unashamed. That means that both can reveal their fault without fear of rejection and judgment by the other. Be ready to become the healing that your spouse needs for their weakness, and the place of safety that they require to experience unconditional acceptance by another human being. There is tremendous redemptive power in this kind of love, and you literally become God’s vehicle for the restoration of another human soul.
In the world’s economy weakness means shame. In God’s economy, stewarding the weakness of another is a sacred trust and a unique privilege. However, if one spouse refuses to cover and protect the other from shame, but instead exposes them and rejects them, violating their trust, a tremendous hurt is caused. Naturally speaking that is the end of the marriage covenant; yet with God all things are possible, and if you can draw on God for the strength to hold on, there is still hope for the restoration of your relationship at His hands.
Are you ready to embark on this kind of journey with another person? Are you ready to invest to that degree in the life of another?
This is the commitment of marriage. Embrace it with your whole heart and it will be the most fulfilling adventure that you could ever experience.